I haven't uploaded a photograph in a while. And this one certainly isn't new. And I don't expect many people to appreciate it (which is probably why I hadn't uploaded it before), but there's much more to it than meets the eye. So if you don't care enough to hear me out, then don't bother commenting. I don't want any critique. However, if you want to learn something special--and something about me (as very few people on dA really know what I'm all about)--then I invite you to continue reading. Those of you who are familiar with my work should know that I never write more than a sentence or two (if even!) about my work. By the looks of this, I think it's obvious that I mean business.
This photograph is nothing impressive. Well, nothing impressive if you don't know that it was taken with this:[link]
That's right. It was taken with something as simple as a box. That was the pinhole camera I constructed for my course on pinhole photography. A box/drawer painted black on the inside and equipped with a pinhole lens. If you don't know what a pinhole camera is, please...educate yourself: [link]
This was how they first began taking photographs.
To take this, I went into a safe-lit darkroom and put a piece of photo paper against the back wall of the box. I then sealed the edges of the drawer with black electrical tape and used a 50 pence coin as my shutter over the lens. I went outside. Set the box down at the base of a tree, and removed the coin. After a few minutes in bright sunlight, I replaced the coin, brought the box back to the darkroom, and developed a paper negative--much like a film negative, but on paper. To develop this photo, I put the paper negative against another piece of photo paper--emulsion to emulsion--placed it under glass and exposed it to light with an enlarger...much like how you would make a contact sheet with film.
So other than the technical aspects, why did I bother submitting this print? To tell you the truth...I'm not sure. I took this photo over a year ago and haven't thought about it since. Until this morning. When I realized it was a self portrait.
I've just always felt a connection with this photo. I loved it even though it was desolate and somewhat lonely. It's complex and unclear and perhaps a bit misunderstood. And now looking at it, while I stood behind the camera, set it on the ground, filled with fear, apprehension, and uncertainty of what it would take...I now see that the camera had turned itself around and taken an image of what is inside of me. And anyone that knows what I had been through prior to this photo, knows that this depiction is entirely accurate.
I don't know how else to explain it. But when I went looking for the photo, I realized I didn't keep it in the album with the rest of them, but I put it in a leather box where I keep all of small the special things--notes, letters, tiny trinkets, dried flower...etc--that people have given me over the past year. I can tell you that this picture was the first thing in that box. Everything else came afterwards.
That's my story.